A Natural Theology of God the Father

For my father—I know in some ways we do not speak the same language, but I think we understand each other.

Theology often takes on the character of a discipline of the mind. But modern psychology has shown how the possibilities that a mind can reckon with are heavily influenced by the formation of that particular mind. So theology is a lived thing, and our real experiences in real relationships shape the way we can understand God in ways that often go unnoticed. For Christians, this means that our understanding of God is often shaped by our experience with earthly fathers.

I think this has far-reaching implications. A friend pointed out that in our broken world many people live with an "angry dad" theology. Their struggle to make sense of their physical dad's anger in a way that would allow them some measure of control and the possibility of placating that anger colors everything about their grappling with the biblical text, their understanding of Church, Heaven, Hell, the Eucharist, sin, redemption, baptism, etc. Certain possibilities are not open to them without great struggle since they have no experience with anything different.

In reflecting upon Father's day, I believe it is right that I express gratitude for the theological possibilities that you have opened up to me so readily. I've been thinking about this a bit, and I'd like to just mention a few of those possibilities and how you opened them up for me.

A God who likes me and is proud of me

It sometimes seems to me that so many people choose their theology to make sense of the fact that God doesn't like them. They seem to reject as sentimental any idea of God as concerned with the intimate details of their lives. They are so oriented towards figuring out what God wants and seem never to consider that God might actually want them to do something they enjoy.

I thank you for the fact that this is not so for me.

Whenever I have thrown myself into something I love, I have always felt your delight. You have been urged me to be cautious and to be practical, yes, because that is also your job. But when I actually do the work and share with you the things I'm doing, you so naturally enjoy it hearing about it.

Because of this, it is not hard for me to imagine that God loves when I love something. I can picture a God who puts certain passions and delights in our hearts so that we will pour ourselves into loving that aspect of his creation. I thank you for making possible that theology of calling that includes our natural passions.

A God who forgives easily

I have always known that you liked my personality because shared jokes and enjoy the same sorts of things. But what is more, though I have resisted the possibility every way I know how, I have discovered over and over that you still like me even when I screw up. Due to the theology I grew up with, I developed a lot of shame, so I have often tried to hide myself. But over and over you have acted contrary to that theology, and it is through your ready forgiveness that I first conceived that God was also ready to forgive.

You were ready to do the work of helping me to overcome the things that enslaved me, and down and dirty work it often was. You came alongside me as well as set boundaries for me so that I could be free. So it was no "cheap grace" and your forgiveness was not just words.

For many people, there is a tension between God's insistence on making us holy and His willingness to forgive us. Perhaps in their experiences forgiveness and warmth of attitude were withheld until "holiness" was achieved. But I thank you for opening up the possibility to me that God, while insisting on doing the full work of healing, is always ready to forgive. Thank you for showing me so clearly that nothing I can do can turn away his desire for my good.

A God who loves all his children far more than we love each other

It is relatively easy for me to believe in a God who loves all of his children. Growing up in a house that went from three to six in my lifetime was not easy. Anytime you get that many people together for years, you learn the challenge of community. You get to know each other really well and what you find isn't always pretty.

There were plenty of times I saw, with the incredibly clarity of a child (or a teenager, or a young adult), exactly what was wrong with one or the other of my siblings and what they deserved. There were plenty of times when I didn't like them and, in truth, hated them in my heart for the way they hurt me.

But so many times I saw you love them and show mercy. I saw you continue to believe that they would turn out alright and that they just needed a little help. Over and over I saw you concerned with their well-being, with helping them to grow up right, rather than concerned with what they deserve.

As I have grown older I have concluded that you simply loved each of us more than I could understand. You did not conclude that one or the other of us was the "bad" kid, or that all of us were bad kids, or that we should suffer. You just believed in the good in each of us even when we clearly saw the bad in each other.

As a result, it is easy for me to see God doing that with us. I can still see (with the clarity of a 24 year old man) the evil in others, not to mention their inconsistency, irrationality, their pettiness and their greed. But in spite of that, it is not hard for me to imagine that God does love each of us far more than I can know and believes in the good in them far longer than I am capable of doing.

A God who will save all His children

It seems a lot of people feel the need to draw the line somewhere, and most of them feel pretty confident they know where it is. I wonder if the experience of abandonment, and the temptation to blame oneself and to find a reason for it, would push someone towards this kind of understanding. They have never experienced grace that can overcome anything before, so there has to be a line somewhere. And if they can just know where that somewhere is, they can stay on the right side and in God's love.

But because of my experience of forgiveness from you, and my observation of your patience with my siblings, I wouldn't put it past God to be so patient with us that in the end He saves all of His children. The Hell we make for ourselves may be very real, and yet the Kingdom of Heaven may be the reality that wins out in the end.

A God who is faithful

It is sad that a father who has stuck by his family for more than 25 years is so rare. It is sad to have to mention this, but it has to be mentioned. A lot of people have a very hard time believing that God both has always been there and will always be there for them. I don't doubt that this is tied to the fact that so many don't experience a faithful father as children.

I won't say it is always easy for me. But I have seen and continue to see faithfulness lived. Thank you for doing and being that. It means so much. Even when things were really rough at home, even it seemed like the fights would never end and like no one in the whole house understood me (yeah, I was a teenager) I never once wondered about where you would be. Even though I didn't always get how much that meant and I didn't always see the beauty in our family, you were always there building it, and I always knew that.

In a similar way, because of that, you have opened up the possibility that amidst all the garbage, God is making something beautiful out of this big family. And I can imagine that maybe even when things are at their worst, He still hasn't left. I can see God's faithfulness through tough times because I have seen your faithfulness through tough times.

Thank you, more than I can say.