Reflections on 1 Kings 19

This morning at church we read 1 Kings 19. When we were talking about God telling Elijah he would pass by, and then not being in the earthquake, the wind or the fire, but being in a small voice, my friend Eric suggested that maturity is appreciating the small voice of God. When we are not mature we expect God to appear in big things, but as we mature, we need those big things less and learn to hear the small whisper of God all the time, because that is the norm.

That got me thinking. I am grateful for the continual whisper from God that I have been experiencing lately.

I must confess that I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety, stress and fear, particularly about my new job teaching. I quite often feel like giving up. I am tempted to want an easy, lazy life free of hard work and stress. I know now why people want to win the lottery. I am tempted to want a life where I could do only the kind of work I want to do and do it only when I felt like doing it.

But amidst all that, I cannot deny that I continue to hear God's voice urging me not to give up, to love, to care, to desire hard work and to take joy in being shaped into a hard worker, to try again when I fail, to be open to being formed and shaped by Him even when it hurts. I hear his voice through my wife, through my friends, and even sometimes through my students. I also hear his voice through scripture and through prayer, both by myself and in the community of believers. I have noticed that I need church now more than I ever have, and in a whole new way, but also that church fulfills in a whole new way, challenging and calling me forward into something I am not yet any good at.

I am grateful that God is doing a good work in me. He is leading me (even me!) towards maturity, forging perseverance in me, and strengthening me for the task of loving Him and loving my neighbor for a lifetime. This is good, even when my flesh resists, and even when my spirit is weak.

Another thing that we noted in the text is that God simply listened to Elijah's complaints and sent him back to the work of his ministry. God's answer to Elijah's difficulties was not to take them away, but to make Elijah into someone who could handle them. That is also part of maturity: asking God to form me into someone who can be faithful in the midst of my challenges rather than asking God to simply change my circumstances. Support and help towards this kind of maturity is one of the goals of the church, I think.

I am grateful to be where I am, and I am going to do my best to take joy in it rather than worrying about it or focusing on when it will be over.